After The Work

He looked at his patient, lay dying in the family living room on a hospital bed. Morning sunlight poured into the room onto his patient, an elderly man of 93 lay looking up from his soft pillow and a blanket his wife had crocheted for him many years prior. A deep fear seized him, he was going to die one day like this man. There was nothing that could stop the visit of the Reaper, time would march mercilessly on. There was nothing he could do to stop it. No bargain could be cut, no computer he could upload himself into. His body would stop living, his heart would stop beating and his life would be over.

Yet this man looking up at him was smiling. He said he was ready to pass away. He had lived long enough and was ready to rest. His wife was gone, his children were going to be set. A peace that passed all understanding. He had told patients in the past that such an attitude was a gift, and it certainly seemed to be one considering the dread he was feeling for his own life. He wasn’t ready to die, not that he was sick. He wasn’t old, but he wasn’t young either. Other patients he had spoken to were younger than he. The possibility of passing away one day had never been more real.

Not to mention what was going to happen to him when he died? He had faith in God and heaven, Jesus and his promises, but it was faith. He had heard of others having near death experiences, testifying of seeing wonderful things. All testimonies, no evidence. Such is faith, revealing truth upon acceptance and belief, but what if it is all in his head? That people’s near death experiences where the product of endorphins and dopamine firing at end of life? Faith transcends the biologic, but being bound to bodies, it is hard to see past our own fears.

The patient spoke, almost sensing what he was thinking, “Today is as good a day as any.” He smiled and closed his eyes as he fell back into deep sleep. Wouldn’t be long now. How could he say that? Easy for him to say being 93 he’s seen so much. There were trips to take, homes to buy, books to write, and loves to love. He looked up from the sleeping patient and saw the television playing with the sound off. The news was reporting on the meteor that was going to pass by earth, even going between the moon and the earth. Reassurances everywhere that everything would be ok. There were crowds of people in public spaces staring up at the bright ball of light, movements talking about “let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die”.

Its not like the world was going to end, but this unusual phenomena certainly added to his dread. Would he even have time to take a trip to see his parents? He shook the thought off. We would have time. An object like that doesn’t just instantly hit the earth, it was more like a long, drawn out eclipse. There were timers in the corner of the television counting down when the meteor would pass by. Hobbyists had their telescopes out, taking detailed pictures of the rock. Governments united in purpose sent a probe to land on the object months ago when it was just a bright star in the sky. Now it was the size of a baseball hanging in the sky thousands of miles away.

Days went by and he found himself hiking in the park near his house. He looked up at the meteor again and wondered if Superman, if real, could knock it out of the sky or push it away. It could not be blown up, for that would cause a cataclysm of a different kind with thousands of pieces falling to the earth the size of cars and buses. It was already in one piece the size of Crater Lake or Lake Tahoe. If it was going to hit the earth, like they said it wouldn’t, it would be very bad for everyone regardless.

What struck him was the realization that nothing could be done to stop it. It moved mercilessly forward, not asking for permission or available for negotiation. He thought to life itself, how much of our life is beyond our control? Where we are born, our parents, our bodies, circumstances of our lives, the behavior of others, indeed there was much out of our control. In fact we can only control our perceptions, our choices, and our speech. Even then, those are all influenced by factors beyond our control. Every action has a cause, every choice is born from a prior one.

That means that death is also out of our control, what we can influence is our acceptance of it. We can be healthy, exercise, refrain from smoking and still die in a car accident caused by someone drunk. We cannot hide in our homes to save our lives for fear of death, nor can we die taking risks like playing golf in a thunderstorm. So much has to happen for us to die. Even taking our own life is beset by a series of tragic factors that lead someone to take their own life.

It comes down to faith again, is it all random or his their purpose in the world. So much around us testifies to an Intelligent designer like the intricacy of genetics, the miracle life exists at all in the universe, that we evolved to where we are to contemplate such questions. One could choose to not believe in something greater or they can. Either way, he could not control whether God was real. In addition, whether God is real or not doesn’t mean death will not visit us.

God’s existence gives a purpose and meaning to our lives and our deaths that transcends our biological purposes to reproduce and find contentment in survival and passing on our genes. It means that love wins, that there is order and a plan to it all, that even our deaths are written ahead of time. That the suffering and lessons we learn are towards a greater goal beyond survival. Life is discovering for ourselves our purpose God made us for and the growth of our souls into the next life. Our time here is like a nursery where we are beset by all of life’s challenges and horrors in order to overcome them and become greater than the evil that would seek to destroy us.

So that rock in the sky doesn’t matter. Either we die or we do not. Either God wills our death or it is all for nothing anyway. Our nature doesn’t want to be told we are without power any more do we wish to die. Despite our nature, death visits us all. Shall we send our lives worrying about what we cannot control, or shall we simply embrace the moment and truly live. Could he truly and finally let go once an for all? Que sera sera, what will be will be.

They had lied to avert panic. Two weeks went by and the object was interfering with the atmosphere. There were riots here and their, predictions about which hemisphere was to be the unlucky one. Humans would live on, but it was going to be dark for many years and many, many people would die. How could God allow this? To him, a day is a 1000 years. 93 years on earth is a blink of an eye to eternity. God will have the harvest regardless whether it is over years or days.

Everyone wants God to do what they want in order for them to believe in him. The opposite is true, like nature doesn’t need us to exist, God does not need us to believe in him. Yet he has placed us here to learn to be Greater, to follow the Rule of love, and to believe in the One who was Sent. Unlike nature, God wants us to exist, to have relationship with Him and others. We have a purpose, a purpose only an individual can find for himself. If we die today, our purpose is complete on this earth. If we die tomorrow, then it will be over then.

Therefore it matters not, today is a good a day to die as any because our purpose will be complete. We may want to experience more or have goals to accomplish, but they quickly melt into eternity. What can we do that would outshine God? What can we say to change the will of God? What action could we take apart from His plan? None. That’s it. It is better to live in the moment, grateful for the good we have.

He watched throughout the day the meteor break up in the atmosphere. It was unexpected. Many pieces fell into the ocean, some others leveled cities. He and his mate laid in the park watching it unfold. There was no way to know if a piece was headed their way until it was too late. The roads were all jammed up with desperate people had drive until they ran out of gas. No new deliveries meant no extra fuel. The happiest people held hands, prayed, and loved the person they were with.

No rocks fell upon he and his mate that day, or the next. He was so thankful he let go and just enjoyed what time he thought he had. He looked at his wife and smiled. Now he understood that every moment is a gift, every kiss was icing on the cake. He took his finger and moved her hair behind her ear, kissed, and resolved to live another day together.