After The Work

We often associate medicine with our physical health, something taken into the body for our benefit. Medicine isn’t necessarily a pill, but topical cream, intravenous, radiation treatments, surgery, nutrition, even physical therapy can be viewed as practicing medicine. Speaking strictly as a layman, medicine is something we do or take for the benefit of our health, both preventative and to treat an illness or disease.

Even substances we might view as poison can be used as medicine, such as chemotherapy used to destroy cancerous tissues that can grow within us. Radiation is another example of something that normally would be completely destructive used to target and destroy an intruder tumor growing within. These and other treatments normally hazardous to our health, when properly applied, actually destroy parts of us that should not be there. Tumors and cancers that sap our life and violate our bodies can be taken out with something that could destroy us.

There are times medicine can be pleasant, other times not a bother to us at all. Still other times medicine can sting, taste bitter, or downright cause distress in the interest and understanding that this is done for our long term benefit. Putting up with surgical pain, side effects of medication, unpleasant procedures, and bitter pills swallowed are the “short term” displeasure we endure for future freedom from pain and illness, or at the very least, sustain our lives.

I ponder the idea of medicine within spiritual bounds. There is a long tradition of spiritual views of our health. Native American peoples called their holy people “medicine men” in their tribes to work healing, linking the spiritual with the physical. Jesus Christ used mud, spit, and prayer to heal one born blind. Other cultures pre-science used this approach as well. The analysis of physical and spiritual linked together should be done elsewhere, however, as there is not room here to do the subject justice.

The spiritual medicine to which I refer relates to the lessons learned spiritually for the benefit of our souls. Some medicine can be quite pleasant, mountain top experiences, kind words, learning of God’s love, or the trust within a friendship gained. Other medicine seeks to level our pride, shrink our ego, or lead us into repentance. Examining and assimilating the darker parts of our soul can lead to powerful understanding and spiritual growth.

Like regular medicine, the spiritual remedy for some things can be bitter to swallow, or downright painful to see and accept. Feelings of conviction, guilt, and even shame when properly used move us towards God and away from what harms us. Too much guilt or shame are downright toxic to the soul and can leave us stuck hurting and feeling worse for no purpose.

Take for example a friend confronts you about something you said casually about their personality without much thought. Lets say they bring it up sincerely and with respect, showing you what you said and how it offended them, your friend whom you wouldn’t wish to hurt. We may feel denial or be defensive because we don’t want to admit our insensitivity. Once we are convicted, however, we feel guilt for our words and empathy for our friends’ feelings. You apologize and reconciliation takes place. A relationship is deepened and we grow spiritually. We reflect and consider that we sometimes speak without care for others.

There are many other versions of spiritual medicine, but one thing stands true: properly taken, spiritual medicine leads us to peace and closer to God and others. If our pain takes us from others into isolation, perhaps we are being too hard on ourselves. It is a difficult balance because sometimes we feel as if we need to punish ourselves for our mistakes.

No part of physical medicine in intended for punishment, then why would God’s spiritual medicine be used for our punishment? Emotional and spiritual pain beyond what is useful for our correction and healing are punitive and therefore harmful, like a psychotic god dangling us over the fire for no other purpose than to terrorize us. God is not a terrorist, he is a Father and seeks to correct us out of love.

There are consequences to our mistakes, and at times they can be quite painful lessons. Either we take our medicine and learn from the pain or we are doomed to repeat it. Seeing lessons learned from mistakes and pain gives purpose to them, they become stepping stones to growth rather than stumbling blocks that affirm our darkest beliefs about ourselves.

I write of a specific kind of pain as well, pain that we inflict upon ourselves. We take direction from our guilt and shame to turn to what’s right and make amends with others if needed. When we discuss trauma’s and pain inflicted upon us by others then we must be more careful and nuanced.

I write of trauma having my share of experience and subsequent growth, so I don’t write flippantly. Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned about pain caused by others when I was young is that it is not my fault. It is not your fault, either. You were a child, a victim, and the adults around us fell short protecting us.

With such a past, our young selves had to take on adult roles we were not read to take on. Hurts, feelings of abandonment, anger, and inadequacy are often associated with old hurts such as these. While we were not responsible for our trauma’s, we are responsible for dealing with them when we are ready.

Where does spiritual medicine fit into to our traumas? I found working with a trusted person or counselor is most wise, someone who can speak as an adult into our young, traumatized experience and reframe the events on our behalf. In order to do this we are often terrified, uncomfortable, and angry. Moving through these emotions in a safe place in order to heal our hearts is good medicine. I have found dealing with said traumas often will produce waves of resolution and new ways of seeing our old selves, which can be quite a relief.

Imagine saying to your younger self “It is ok, it was not your fault. I love you” and meaning it. Imagine saying this over and over again. We begin feel better about ourselves, more comfortable in our own skin. We don’t need to distract ourselves all the time, anxiety can wash away. This too is good medicine.

It is vital to do this with someone who can coach you through this, just as we trust medical professionals to give us treatments at the hospital. This also holds true for our mistakes and shortcomings, discussing with a friend or spiritual advisor assists us in many ways to feel part of the human race again.

Therefore, as much as we do not like pain in our modern age of instant and self gratification, we should not shy away from honest self examination, leveling of our pride, and shrinking of our ego’s. What lies behind our ego is a shadow; once light finds the darkness we face and embrace it and it loses it’s power. Healing comes with confession and assimilation into our acknowledged experience. We “no longer regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it”. I wish you well in your experiences, remember you do not have to do this alone.