After The Work

Ever self-sabotage? Giving up on something that is important to you, like maybe school or an athletic event? Then we try and play it off like we didn’t care, or that the odds were not fair, or maybe we were “sick”… then comes the self loathing because the viscous cycle continues. We gear up for another try, sometimes for days or weeks only to find some reason things won’t work.

Do we do this to save face? It certainly gives us a sense of control over things we really cannot control, and the parts we can control… maybe we feel like we just don’t measure up. Something cries out within us to say “I am here!” “I can do this!” only to feel like the hole in our heart bleeds out our courage and our stomachs ache with worry.

Anxiety can be overwhelming! It is OK to admit that anxiety can freeze us, or cause us to fawn around others, or engage in some other coping mechanism that saved us long ago. That was OK then, you probably went through some pretty hard times if your anxiety creeps back in when triggered by events, people, or places. It is important to talk through these times with someone we trust, but we also can pray.

When Jesus knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane he was stricken with fear that his sweat dripped like blood from his face. He knew what he had come to do and having all the faith in the world still feared for his moral body. It is natural to be afraid, it often keeps us alive! It is truly a gift when we can rise above our bodies, legs shaking and voice quivering and shout “I CAN!”

When fear comes to us, ask God to remove it. Some say the serenity prayer, asking God for peace or serenity: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It doesn’t replace processing trauma, but can certainly help in the moment.

When we ask God to remove our fear, we also have to believe he can. Is God bigger than you and your problems? If so, he can do it. We don’t have to understand it, simply place our self in a spiritual posture to do so: Open, surrendered, and willing. Ask every time you become afraid or anxious and eventually comes the sweet relief of God’s grace. Like “living waters, welling up within you” God’s Spirit soothes our thirsty souls with his peace.

Relief can come from prayer. It can also come from community. Whether it is talking to another in wise counsel or in a group who is empathic and willing to listen, speaking our fears and worries causes them to lose their power over us. When others share their fears and worries, it as if the burden we carry as individuals is distributed like a heavy weight amongst friends.

Relief from our anxiety and fear can also come from doing what we love. Listening to music, art, exercise, and any number of healthy activities increase our dopamine and provide a positive place to continue to build upon. We keep trying, and one day we make it up that hill. Someday we won’t self-sabotage and finally make our goals. It will be scary, but the only thing worse than failing is not trying at all. And when we finally make it, we see we are more than we thought we were.