After The Work

In a courtroom, a defendant is placed on trial for a crime. The prosecution brings forth its case and a judge or jury are tasked with hearing the evidence and declaring whether guilt is proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The defendant is found guilty of a crime and often will apologize to the court or if there was a victim to the crime. The controversy lay in whether they are “really sorry”, but truth be told only God knows another’s heart.

True confession of a wrong involves not only sorrow but also making amends. In the case of court, the sentence is part of the recompense and amends, perhaps the guilty party will go further to change their life, demonstrating true change. When someone commits to changing their life based upon their crimes, they are stricken with sorrow and resolve to change their life.

Perhaps you have not committed a crime, but you have hurt another person. Perhaps you acted very out of character and you cannot get the situation out of your mind. Sometimes we punish ourselves in our minds more severely than the person we have wronged, even after we have apologized and have been forgiven. Guilt indicates you have not lived up to your standards and your actions do not reflect who we truly are.

We have to admit to ourselves that “what comes out of a person’s heart makes him unclean”, that is, we all have shadows in our heart that we have to embrace before we can truly understand what depths of forgiveness God can give. We must dig to the roots of our hearts to understand how high our branches reach to glory. You are not unique in your blessings, nor are you unique in your brokenness.

Psalm 103 reminds us “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; ¹² as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Christ’s love extends further than we can imagine if we concern ourselves with being a better person; God of the Universe is bigger and far wiser than we are. In his Wisdom, he offers forgiveness to those who would ask and separates us from those sins “as far as the east is from the west”, in other words, infinite distance.

That leaves us to clear the wreckage of our lives, great and small. Instead of beating yourself up for your brokenness, two things remain: First discover why you felt the need to make that mistake. People do not sin without some motivation. Seek wise counsel and dig into the depths of your heart and hurts. Second, live each day surrendered to your new way of life. Commit yourself to be more kind with your words, or more pure with your actions. You will likely make mistakes again, but know that God has forgiven your contrite heart.

Finally for those who cannot forgive themselves; perhaps what is a work is some sort of perverse pride. You are not the worst person in the world, why have you deemed yourself as such? Why do you punish yourself beyond consequence? Your sorrow may motivate you to do better, but your sorrow can also hinder you from doing good if you are consistently bashing yourself in your own mind. If you are focused upon yourself too much, we miss the good we can do around us. You are loved, now try and “love yourself” as you “love God and your neighbor”.